


flung out of space

by chringrid



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, carol au, except it aint romanticized here, i guess but that's just the show we were watching lol, just a heads up, references to abusive relationships, this fic is pretty heavy on anti noorhelm and joneva
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-02
Updated: 2017-11-02
Packaged: 2019-01-28 14:16:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12608480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chringrid/pseuds/chringrid
Summary: Eva is a high school student, who works at a children's toy shop, part time. One day she meets Noora, this mysterious girl and they fall in love and shit. Also I suck at writing summaries. Watch Carol, guys.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> welp. here it is.  
> i honestly have no idea when the next chapter will be updated but does anyone really care? who knows?  
> shoutout to Lizzie (@lesbiannooras on tumblr) for looking over this and being a sweetheart. I appreciate the hell out of u <3

_Magnus is in a hurry. I mean let’s say he’s in a hurry he’s not exactly out of his breath to get to that party. He definitely has time to get into this restaurant order himself something, flirt with some girls (or boys_ _) and then leave for Jonas’ party. And as he’s ordering his food he notices a familiar figure with long ginger hair. He can’t believe it. This place is quite fancy not exactly the type of place she would…_

_But what if._

_“Eva is that you?”_

_The girl tears her gaze from the young woman opposite her (’wow’- Magnus agrees with himself) and waves at him with a seemingly forced smile._

_Forced smiles never really bothered Magnus, he’s already apologizing to all the people he pushes as he makes his way to the girls’ table._

_“Eva Mohn, I cannot believe it I feel like I haven’t seen each other in how long? Forever!”  he exclaims before Eva could answer. “Weird, ’cause Jonas and I have been hanging out a lot lately but. Oh my god I’m so sorry I forgot you two aren’t exactly together anymore, huh? Poor guy you broke his heart into a million pieces! Anyway, who’s your friend?”_

_The beautiful girl with the blonde hair who (as most women she meets) has been looking at him with the mix of amusement and disgust in the last minute now seems to remember politeness as it is and reaches out her hand, waiting for it to be shaken._

_“Magnus, this is Noora Amalie_ _Saetre.” Eva says, looking at Noora with the highest form of admiration but with a sense of sadness, or loss, that Magnus can’t quite place._

_“Nice to meet you” Noora smiles at her, and she really is one of the most beautiful women Magnus has ever seen, he wonders, how on earth did this ethereal creature even find Eva Mohn from fucking Nissen._

_“Likewise” with a quick handshake Magnus is back to the subject, he originally came to ask about “so Eva, are you planning to come to Jonas’ party tonight? I know it’s been a rough few months for you all but I’m sure he’d be happy to see you.”_

_“No no no, I’m coming I was just. Yeah, I just had some unfinished business here with Noora but yeah, I’m coming. Me and Jonas are… Yeah, I’m coming.”_

_“I’m sorry, so are you coming then?” Magnus jokes but before the flustered Eva could answer he interrupts “I was joking Eva, but maybe I could give you a ride then? Are you also joining us?” the subject of this question is Noora who seems to be lost in her thoughts ever since Eva mentioned the ’unfinished business’_

_“Me? Oh no I’m having a second dinner with some friends but” she stands up “you two have a wonderful night!”  as she walks by Eva she caresses Eva’s shoulder_ _, who shivers from the touch, and looks after Noora’s leaving figure longingly._

_As they are in the car, leaving for Jonas’ party, Magnus notices that Eva keeps finding short, blonde haired women in Oslo’s night crowd, and keeps looking disappointed when they reveal their faces and they don’t belong to a specific girl. And of course, Magnus has heard the gossips about why exactly (or who exactly for) Eva left Jonas for but he couldn’t believe it until tonight. And now, he can’t help but be curious as to what happened between Eva Mohn, this girl he thought he knew forever, and this mysterious girl, Noora._

Eva woke up early that day. Maybe your body can feel the days when your life is about to change, maybe she just drank too much the night before, but she was up an hour before she should’ve. Honestly, she had to admit, she enjoyed it. Being able to have your breakfast calmly, not rushing anything, looking through the photos she had under the oven. Jonas said it was foolish and old-fashioned to keep an analogue camera with her but Eva enjoyed the nostalgia of it. That said, she certainly didn’t enjoy Jonas telling her that she’s too romantic and professionals won’t take her seriously like that, so she was thinking of getting a more modern one. Maybe keeping the old one in secret so he can’t joke about it. Speaking of Jonas, he was there, right on time as everyday. They went to school together on weekdays, and on Saturdays and Sundays he took her to work on his bike.

“Eva, hey Eva!” she heard the familiar voice at 7 am, exactly. She forced a smile on herself and leaned out the window to greet her boyfriend. “Damn it, Eva, I don’t know how you do it?”

“What?”

“It’s 7 in the morning and you already look so fucking beautiful!” Jonas laughed up at her and Eva laughed back. This was good. It was good. These moments reminded her that she’s still in love. Or at least she had reasons to be.

As she was standing behind Jonas on the bike letting the morning wind wake her up, she started thinking about their relationship, and her place in the world. She knew Jonas was in love with her and she knew that theoretically she was in love with Jonas too. Or she remembered the feeling, the early days when everything was filled with laughter and affection. And technically Eva was aware that the honeymoon phase doesn’t last forever but she couldn’t help the feeling, that it can’t possibly be this bad even if those days are gone.

And listen, it’s not like they were suffering, or Jonas was physically abusive or he cheated or even that he obviously wasn’t in love anymore (the problem kind of was, the fact that he still was, ridiculously so) It’s just that Eva was feeling suffocated everytime she was around him. She didn’t really have her own friends they always hung out with the boys, and Eva liked them, she really did but it’s not like they were _her_ chosen life-long best buddies. And however much he loved Eva, Jonas always found a way to make her feel bad about herself and Eva was sure he didn’t mean it but it’s not like her brain didn’t do enough of that all by itself, so really what she really needed in her insecure moments is not a boyfriend, who will make sure she knows she’s not doing well-enough academically and that she’ll never reach his intellectual levels. What Eva needed was a caring, supportive boyfriend or…

“Eva are you listening to me?” Jonas called her name and looked back at her.

“Of course, yeah uh…what were you talking about exactly?”

“Jeez, the memory in that pretty head of yours really is short, huh?” Eva could feel the blood rushing into her face and _fuck, fuck, fuck_ why does he keep saying these things why does he thinks it’s okay?

She still smiled at him, and he started talking about their European trip and how romantic it will be and Eva really couldn’t stop the anxious thoughts running around in her head and if she was honest with herself this would’ve been the moment when she realized that a happy person in a good relationship doesn’t feel like having a heart attack when her partner is talking about their romantic getaway.

But Eva hadn’t been honest with herself in a very long time, and she wasn’t sure if she was even capable of that anymore.

 

Eva was grateful for her job.

She really was. She knew that Jonas’ sister had to go out of her way to get Eva in. She knew that it was a place in one of Norway’s biggest children’s toy store and she should be happy with it because the salary was great, she only had to work on weekends so it didn’t interfere with school and it helped her become independent from her mom and her money.

That being said, Eva fucking hated working there at Christmas time. She despised it. People were more rude and impatient than usual, and she had to wear that stupid Santa hat and it didn’t matter how many times Jonas told her that she looked cute in it, Eva did not like it. She refused to wear it, and she took it off as soon as they arrived in the cafeteria.

“Eva!” her boss was looking at her furiously, then she mouthed ‘the hat’ pointing her finger at her own head and with that, Eva’s break was over.

To be honest, she loved this part, when the customers hasn’t arrived yet, and she could just walk around the dark room, observe all the new toys that arrived. As usual Eva found herself next to a train set, the exact one she wanted when she was small. Standing next to this model she always felt this infinite calmness take over her entire body. It gave her the exact mix of sweet sadness and nostalgia that she needed to get through the day. And so, it started.

It was a boring shift really. Only three moms shouted at her so far, and she’d been able to keep a bland smile on her face and not telling them to fuck right off, and in Eva’s book, that was a success. She was doing some sort of administration when she noticed her.

Blonde hair. A lot of it. It flew around her face as she was looking around, clearly lost. She was wearing this big fur coat, almost golden coloured. She seemed around Eva’s age so she must know that, a coat like that would’ve looked ridiculous on anyone Eva knows including herself. Not on her though, she looked like some sort of royalty. A red beret was carelessly thrown on the top of her head and it really shouldn’t have complimented everything she was so well but it did. She looked around amused, all by herself and it was like she’s the only person in this shop and Eva really couldn’t understand how she did it. She knew girls who carried themselves around like they don’t care that everyone is looking, girls who could make starts fall with their smiles and make it rain with their tears. She knew these girls and she was always strangely in awe of them. But this girl had something more profound, she was different than anyone Eva’s met in her life. This girl was like she could hold the whole universe together just by saying your name. She was the most beautiful woman Eva has ever seen.

Eva had always had a weird relationship with other girls. She saw these things in them. She saw it in Ingrid when they were still friends and not just acquaintances, she saw it every day and it was killing her, she wanted to touch it, she wanted to have it and well. It was obviously jealousy, like her mom told her when she wanted to talk about it. _It’s a thing all girls experience Eva. You wanna be like them because you can see that boys like them._ And obviously she was right. Eva didn’t necessarily want to look like those girls but that was the only possible explanation.

And then there was Vilde and yeah, okay. Vilde and her used to make out at parties but that was different, she was already with Jonas and she only did it for him. Every time they did it at parties Jonas and his friends were watching and Jonas told her how hot it was afterwards and Eva only shivered and felt sick because she drank too much and okay, Vilde turned out to actually like _those things_ afterwards and Eva’s happy for her she really is, she likes all of her and her girlfriend’s posts on Instagram but it doesn’t mean Eva would be _like that._

And this girl. Well she’s obviously a model or something Eva must’ve seen her in a magazine or something and that’s why she caught her attention. It’s not like…

“Excuse me Miss! Do you happen to know where the toilet is?” a distressed Mom, pulling her three children after herself, tears her attention away from the girl. Good.

“Yes uh…go straight through that aisle on my right. You can’t miss it.”

“Thank you. Merry Christmas!” the mom waved at her and continued pushing her exhausted children around. Poor kids – Eva thought – also it’s not Christmas yet.

Sadly, she lost the mystery girl from sight so Eva had to go back to actually doing work. Sad, she could’ve given Eva an autograph or something.

“Hi, sorry to bother you but could you tell me if you still have some of these dolls?” a paper in her face with a doll’s name and number. When Eva could focus on the hands holding them she realized they belonged to the girl she was watching earlier and, _fuck_ , she was even prettier from close. Her blue eyes were looking at Eva curiously when she realized that she’d asked her a question. She looked at the paper again.

“Yes! Isabel, right? She’s very famous these days all the little girls want her. She talks, she laughs, she uhm. Pees herself” the girl looked amused. Good, I mean she should keep customers happy, right? Especially if their smile is as breath-taking as this one. Eva’s heart ached into thinking it won’t be there for too long. “Sadly we’ve run out of her, as I said, very popular in this season but. We have a bunch of other dolls! Laila here can speak English, very good for studying. And Linn…”

“My roommate is called Linn!” the girl exclaimed and smiled widely at Eva “but unfortunately my niece only wants this one so. My boyfriend was supposed to deal with this but he forgot as usual. Also, we’re not on the best terms right now so…Anyway why am I boring you with this?” Eva smiled politely even though she was kind of busy thinking of why exactly she was feeling this weird jealousy-like thing in heart. Obviously, a girl like her is gonna have a boyfriend, like, look at her. Also, why would Eva be not okay with her having a boyfriend it’s not like she knows him or has a crush on him right? – What kind of dolls did you like when you were a little girl? – she was still talking to Eva so she collected her thoughts and forced a smile on herself.

“Me? I wasn’t really a dolls kind of kid. I wanted that train set over there. I never got it but yeah. It got me obsessed with stuff like that. I uh…I read about it. More than I should probably. People say so at least.” Jonas does.

“Oh, you read something else than the great masterpieces of literature written by men. I can’t tell you how refreshing it is to hear that.” the girl left her gaze wonder on Eva for a few moments, then turned into the direction of the set. “Hmm. Maybe. Do you guys deliver?”

“Oh yes just. Fill this in and then we’re done.” Eva pushed the paper in front of her then kept looking at her hands while she was writing. She had very nice hands.

“That’s that.” the girl smiled at her “Sold.”

Eva knew she was going to leave and this was her last chance, no matter how embarrassing it was, she had to ask:

“I’m sorry this is gonna sound so weird but. Are you a model?”

She looked at Eva with disbelief and then laughed and it might’ve just been the lighting but Eva could swear she’d seen her blush.

“Oh, wow you got some game right. I’m…not a model and honestly, I like simply asking for a tea or whatever a bit better than pick-up lines but. I appreciate the effort.”

“Oh…ooh no! I’m, I mean uh…” Eva was lost for words. Did this girl really thought she was gonna ask her out here and even. Eva’s not. She’s straight and she doesn’t give off any _other_ vibe. Hopefully. “I was just… You seemed familiar and that was my tip but uh I’m. Yeah, I’m straight and in a relationship so. Sorry if this was uh…misleading.”

“Right.” her eyes were observing Eva like they could see right into her heart. Then she smiled. “Well, anyway. Merry Christmas! I like the hat by the way.” She said before leaving the shop and she…Well it could’ve been just something getting into her eyes but Eva was pretty sure she winked. At her. What a weird girl.

That’s when Eva noticed a pair of leather gloves on the desk but the girl was gone by then.

“Fuck. I’ll have to call her now.” Eva mumbled to herself and no matter how much she wanted to pretend she wasn’t unhappy about it. Not at all.

Eva didn’t take the hat off for the rest of the day.

 

She wasn’t sure why they always ended up in Magnus’ basement watching movies but they were there, as usual, Eva in Jonas’ lap. She didn’t mind the movies, she loved the movies she just wasn’t the biggest fan of the boys constantly talking into it. Isak as usual kept talking about cinematography and camera work and stuff like that, which was very interesting for Eva but Jonas already warned her to not take everything he says literally. _You know I love Isak but he’s got so good at writing that now he thinks he knows everything about anything connected to art. Most of the things he says about film are bullshit._ Still, Eva kind of liked Isak. He felt some kind of connection to him. Maybe it was art. Maybe it was that sometimes she saw him lingering his gaze on boys, like he gets them, the way Eva gets girls. Or even more.

After the movie finished they went over to the closest bar they could find. Eva didn’t like drunk Jonas. He became even more pretentious and it was impossible to have a good conversation with him. But it was early on the night, she enjoyed the music and the wine she was drinking put her in a comfortable dizziness. When she noticed that Mahdi was pulling out something very familiar from his bag she suddenly felt even better.

“You fixed it!” she leaned on the table and took her camera from Mahdi who smiled at her.

“Of course! Anything for Jonas’ girl” Eva didn’t have time to pull a face over the expression and she didn’t even pay attention to Jonas rolling his eyes to the sight of her camera.

“So, Eva, you uhm…you take photos?” Isak asked and yeah. Isak and Eva really didn’t know each other that well despite spending so much time together.

“Yeah. And you write?”

“I try” he smiled at her and suddenly, the already tipsy Magnus hugged him tight.

“Isak please. Eva, this man here writes for Morgenbladet! Right my man?” he started messaging Isak’s shoulders who kept smiling and even though Eva already knew that she still felt the jealousy and insecure thoughts slide into her mind. Obviously Isak is very lucky and extremely talented but still. What if the reason she hadn’t really had any success with photography because she’s not good enough. They were the same age and Isak was writing to one of Norway’s biggest newspapers. He wasn’t even out of high school! Maybe Jonas was right and she should concentrate on her studies instead.

And with that her night was ruined. They stayed for another three hours and when all the guys were wasted Eva declared it was bedtime and they left the bar. Before Eva could try and figure out where exactly she was and how she could get home she heard someone calling her name.

“Eva! Eva!” Isak came running after her so she slowed down and looked at him in anticipation. “Hi. So, I was thinking. How serious are you about photography?”

“Uh. Quite serious I’d say” Eva said

“Good coz I was thinking maybe if you’d like you could come around the paper sometime and take photos you know. Maybe I could even get you a job. But” he exclaimed seeing how excited Eva became “I can’t promise anything.”

“Okay! Yes, I’d love that! Thank you so much!” Eva hadn’t felt this happy in a good while

“Good okay. Goodnight Eva!”

“Goodnight Isak!”

Eva was exhausted. Before she went to bed she washed off her makeup and texted Jonas asking if he arrived home alright. After he got a thumbs up emoji she smiled and as soon as she felt fast asleep.

She dreamed of printed photographs. She dreamed of herself as part of an editorial staff.

She dreamed of blonde hair. Lots of it.

 She dreamed of blue eyes on her skin.

 She dreamed of lost gloves.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eva is a high school student, who works at a children's toy shop, part time. One day she meets Noora, this mysterious girl and they fall in love and shit. Also I suck at writing summaries. Watch Carol, guys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen i'm aware that it's been MONTHS. i don't have any excuses except like i stopped really caring about skam and now skamfr is out (i might write something for it because god is there some serious dyke-drama happening. eye-emoji and everything) and my interest in skam is back again! yay!  
> as always s/o to lizzie (@manondemissy on tumblr.com) for looking through this for me :)

 

Noora was peeling some vegetables in the Kolektiv’s kitchen letting her mind wander around, enjoying the silence. Linn, as usual, was in her room probably watching tv or playing video games and Eskild was out doing god knows what (or who), so she felt like she was completely alone in the flat. Her brain kept anxiously reminding her that William was coming over and she needed to brace herself to be able to get through the meet-up without breaking down. Noora imagined that Eskild would say to her if he was there. He’d probably hug her and try to distract her with nothing he could come up with. _Tell me, did you see any pretty girls today?_ She did, in fact. _You fell in love with her instantly I believe, useless baby gay you are._ She did, in fact. _Tell me about her._

Noora tried to evoke her memories from that morning the girl with ginger hair, a Santa hat on it, the sweetest smile she’d ever seen. She remembered the freckles on her face she’d noticed when the girl was leaning closer to her reading the paper with the delivery information. She concentrated with her whole face it was adorable.

Now relatively speaking she knew that the girl was straight, she’d literally told Noora that she is for god’s sake, but a little voice inside Noora’s had (that ironically resembled Eskild’s) kept telling her, what if. _What if, what if, what if._ Because what kind of straight girl asks girls old pick-up lines with a completely serious face. Not even Noora would do that and Noora has done _a lot_ just to get pretty girls’ attention. Also she just had the vibe and if Eskild and Linn’s words are anything to go by the gaydar is in fact a thing that exists. Also she’s just too cute to be…

Noora’s thoughts were interrupted by a knock ont he door that made her heart stop for a moment. It was hard to imagine that a few months ago she truly believed that this cold fear that went through her body everytime _he_ was around meant that she was in love. It was annoying that a little part of her brain still believed it.

She took a long breath.

She opened the door and there he was.

He tried a smile and Noora couldn’t help smiling back because she always did eventhough she was barely happy when he was around. But old habits die hard.

\- Hi Noora. – he said whilst stepping into the flat. He never asked if he could come in. Noora’s guess was that he never assumed that people weren’t glad to have him around. What a tool.

Noora nodded at him and then waved as a sign for him to follow her to the kitchen. He sat down on the counter, it reminded her of the times they spent here together as a couple. It reminded her of him touching her, making her nauseous and she could already feel the tears ready to fall from her eyes. She really tried to believe it was supposed to feel like that and he used that, every single time. But this wasn’t the time to be emotional, she had to wait ’till he left. She didn’t want to be vulnerable in front of him ever again. She collected herself and turned her back to him and tried to concentrate her attention to the carrots in front of her.

\- So I went to TOYS R US i picked up a train model thing for Astrid she should like that, they’ve been out of the dolls sadly. I gave them your adress and everything should go fine from now on. It wasn’t fair that I had to go but I love that little girl, and you obviously know that hence the reason you _accidentally_ left the money for the gift with me. All I ask is please, tell her I love her and I wish I could be there.

\- I think, Noora, you are the person who’s being unfair here. – Noora didn’t look at him but she knew he was watching her. She didn’t like that he could see her and have thoughts about her still, but that was life. – I think you could easily come if you wanted to but you have these _ideas_ suddenly and that’s why you’re leaving me. And her. And the life we built together.

And there it was. Guilt. He was the master of guilt he could make Noora feel it over anything. The dishes. Her friends. Her opinions. He’s been slowly poisioning her with it for years and now it was her primal emotion. _Guilt, guilt, guilt._

She took a long breath.

\- Ideas? You mean realizing I was gay after years of repression by myself and by you? Or the fact that I finally know that I’m worth more than to walk around like an empty shell because my opinions, my friends and everything that wasn’t good enough for you had to be gone? Yeah William why don’t we go to your family’s Christmas dinner. I can already see you introducing me to your relatives. _Guys, this is Noora my lesbian girlfriend who I made come here because I’m a manipulative asshole. Oh my god did you lose weight Auntie?_

Noora usually hated her voice. It was weak and childish, like a little girl. Buta t that moment she felt like every word leaving her lips was stronger than an army of ten thousand men.

William had seemed to admit defeat. He looked around, awkwardly then said:

\- I’m gonna leave now. Mari’s party is today she’s been asking about you. You need to come, for her. Goodbye for now, Noora.

After he left Noora had a little cry. _Sometimes you just have to feel your emotions, sometimes you have to let it rain so you can see the rainbow._ That’s what her therapist told her and however funny the use of _rainbow_ was it really did help her sometimes. She’d cried more in those past months before and she was slowly convincing herself that that was a good thing.

Eskild came home 15 minutes before 10, they cuddled a bit and she told her about toy store girl.

\- I couldn’t tell her I was shopping for my abusive ex-boyfriend, so I just said I was shopping for my own niece because my current very heterosexual boyfriend, whom I’m straight for, forgot. Then I tried to deflect with saying we’re not on good terms but I…

Noora’s words were interrupted by the ugliest and _oldest_ sound Noora had ever heard. Both Eskild and her looked up at the wall where the landline phone -that hadn’t rang since Linn’s great grandfather died – was going mad. Noora rose up from the sofa with wide eyes, looking back at the equally confused Eskild then carefully putting the reciever to her left ear.

\- Hello? – she said very slowly.

\- H…- the voice ont he other side said then all Noora could hear was violent coughing.

\- I’m sorry I couldn’t quite catch that.

\- I’m so sorry – the voice was very familiar but Noora couldn’t place it anywhere. – Can I start over? Hello, this is the cashier from TOYS R US and I’m guessig I’m speaking to miss Saetre right?

\- Yes I’m her – Noora was surprised at how calm her voice was because her insides were shaking and it felt like the world was turning upside down. _It’s the pretty girl, it’s the pretty girl, it’s the pretty girl!!._ – And let me tell you she’s very surprised that anyone could still find her on this number I mean let me tell you my grandmother would call the phone I’m currently holding an ancient artefact and she’s nearly 95 years old. – Noora’s grandma died like 5 years ago at the age of 72 but she wasn’t going for accuracy when she was trying to make pretty girls laugh.

\- Oh yes I’m…I’m so sorry this was the only number I could find in the phone book uh. – incoherent mumbling – anyway. You left your gloves here. They seem expensive so I thought you should know. I…I’m not sure how to send it to you.

But Noora knew there was a pretty easy way for this girl to get her gloves back to her, since she’d left her address at the store. Well, William’s but the girl didn’t know that. She wouldn’t have even had to call. But she did and she was asking her what to do next, and Noora might just had her gay goggles on at all times but even without them, this meant the girl wanted to see her again. Not only that but she needed confirmation from Noora that this was a thing they both wanted. This was an obvious call for action and it was smart. _Totally straight my ass…_

\- Oh you absolute angel yes I’ve been looking for them all over the place. I think it would be best if we met up and then I could buy you a coffee as a thank you for going out of your way like this. How would you like…tomorrow at 2 and we could meet in front of the Espresso House at Parkveien?

\- That would be perfect! I’ll bring your gloves. Bye! – and with that she was gone.

Noora had a smile on her face for the rest of the day. When Linn asked what she was so happy about she just said:

\- I’m pretty sure I have a date tomorrow.

 

Noora was sick with nerves. Eskild was planning outfits all day because apparently the ’dykiest clothes she has’ wasn’t a good enough answer for what she’d wear for the ’date’. He also spent the day giving useless advice to Noora on how to find out if store-girl likes her, if she even likes women ( _’but if you ask me NO straight girl just does this because they wanna give back lost gloves, they’re  just not as smart in these things as we are. from an evolutional perspective heteros never had to think of ways to get partners and it shows’)._ If we’re being honest most of the morning was spent with Eskild trying to calm Noora down (unsuccessful) and Noora talking about how pretty the cashier girl was (extremely succesful). And then it was time to go.

As Noora arrived (five minutes early) she was already so jumpy she felt like she could to throw up or scream or both but then she saw her turning in from the corner of the street (four minutes early). She looked even more beautiful, the sunlight colored her hair bright red and she was looking around anxiously but her eyes had an excited sparkle in them that Noora could swear weren’t there the day before. _Whatever happens, I put that there, it’s because of me_ Noora thought and with that she worked up all her courage and waved at the girl. 

\- Hi! Or should I say H.. chhgfjj – Noora made the lamest coughing noises and laughed and then immidietly regretted it because the girl looked angry for a moment. But she cracked up and rolled her eyes and god Noora felt like that was the only thing she wanted to see til the day she dies.

\- Yes well I guess I can’t really do anything not embarassing around you. It was decided when I accidentally asked you out. – she smiled at Noora who was just standing there completely smitten. – Before I forget, here are your gloves! – she took the brown cloths and put them into Noora’s hands who was busy feeling their skins touching but then as if someone shook her Noora jerked. What the hell was she doing. She was Noora Amalie Saetre and she was gonna make this girl see what she could have.

\- Thank you so much uh…

\- Eva!

\- Thank you so much Eva! Now, shall we? – she lead Eva to the entrance of the coffee shop and chose a table next to the window.

It was a funny situation. Eva was looking at the menu, Noora was looking at Eva. The other girl was frowning upon the piece of paper in front of her like they were a test she didn’t study for. Even like this she was so breathtakingly beautiful in a quiet way. The more you looked at her the more angelic her face looked. Noora always wished she could’ve had a beauty like that. Her appearance was always loud and it always got the attention from the wrong people. Some days Noora wished she couldn’t be seen at all.

\- Gosh, there are so many options I don’t even know what I want.

\- Would you say you’re indecisive like that? – Noora couldn’t believe she let Eskild get inside her head ( _’bi people won’t miss an oppurtinity to joke about their sexuality believe me, they’re nerds, all of them’)_ but it was worth a shot.

\- It’s just that I feel like I want it all y’know. – Eva said not even looking up at Noora who, as the poets say, was losing her goddamn mind.

Luckily the waitress arrived and Noora ordered her coffee and they both looked at Eva in anticipation.

\- I’ll just have what she’s having. – She said quickly. Noora raises her eyebrow. Eva was a mystery she yearned to solve.

\- So Eva. I can’t help but notice your accent, and, what’s your last name?

\- Mohn.

\- Eva Mohn – she says slowly. – It’s lovely. Bergen?

\- My dad got a job here like four years ago. You?

\- Oh I was born in Oslo. I lived in Madrid for a year then came back.

\- And your first name? – Eva was looking right into her eyes and she was looking right back at her. You could’ve cut the air between them everything was so intense and calm, she felt out of breath.

\- Noora Amalie.

\- Noora Amalie Saetre – the other girl spoke so slowly, tasting every single word, not breaking eye contact for one second. Noora decided she never wanted anyone else to say her name ever again. Nobody could say it like that. Nobody.

Her mind was racing but she didn’t look away, nor did Eva. When the waitress arrived with their coffees it was like being jolted back from a paralell universe and Noora couldn’t help but look up with annoyance. Then she smiled at her because she didn’t wanna take it out on her poor girl was just doing her job. And with that the moment was gona. Eva as if she’d just realized what she was doing turned really red suddenly and looked down at her coffee.

\- I imagine you would’ve guessed it would be a boy who’d come here today. – and yeah that idea went through Noora’s brain because there _were_ some men staring at her in the store who looked like employees and this girl could’ve just been doing a favor for one of them. But she had a divination.

\- It had occured to me yes. – Noora said with a smile on her face. She was so happy she wasn’t wrong.

\- I’m sorry.

This was Noora’s chance. She needed to make it crystal clear that she was interested in Eva. _Come on, you can say it._

\- Don’t be. I very much doubt I would’ve gone to have coffee with

For a moment the air that was between them before came back. Just for a moment Noora saw something in Eva’s eyes. Hope maybe. Amusement. Satisfaction. It was only there for a moment then the red on her cheeks returned and she was trying desperately to find something, a topic, a distraction, anything that could let her deal with what Noora had said at another time.

\- I really like your perfume. Where is it from? – Noora couldn’t believe it. This girl was incredible she couldn’t even imagine what she’d be like when she realized. All she knew was she wanted to stick around to see it.

\- It’s from William. My ex-boyfriend

\- I’m sorry.

\- It’s not your fault. It’s his, actually. Also my interests are not the same now as they were when we got together anyway so…What about you? Anyone you’re dating? – Noora knew she wasn’t subtle but she couldn’t stop herself.

\- Well, there’s Jonas. – there was something in her voice that made Noora intrigued eventhough those news should’ve been dissappointing for her. But mostly her heart was breaking because the way Eva said that name reminded her of her own voice talking about She kept silent so Eva would continue. – Jonas he’s…he’s very nice and loves me. I’m pretty sure she wants to move in with me.

\- And would you like that? Move in with him? – Noora held her breath. It felt like they were the only two people in the coffeeshop.

\- I don’t…I barely even know what coffee to order.

Silence. Noora was watching Eva. Eva was looking up at Noora at times, seemingly confused, maybe by how much she shared, or the stuff she said, Noora couldn’t tell. She just had one sentence running around in her head, and she felt like if she didn’t say it then and there, she never would.

\- You are a strange girl.

\- What do you mean? – Eva was looking up at her, looking more beautiful than ever before.

\- Flung out of space. – Noora exhaled the words. She barely heard herself but she knew Eva had heard her. Later she’d find out, that was Eva’s thing. Always hearing her.

 

Before they left Noora made Eva promise that she’d come and hang out with her on Sunday. As they waved goodbye she saw Sana arriving with her car. Noora grinned at her as she opened the door for her.

\- Someone’s in a good mood today. – she had a smug smile on her face and Noora’s heart ached looking at her. What could’ve happened if they weren’t too afraid to love each other back then.

\- I have no idea what you’re talking about. – Noora looked out the window because she knew if she’d look at Sana the giggles would bubble out of her and she’d lose this little game they had going on.

\- So you wanna tell me about her?

That was Sana. Always knowing.

\- She’s just a girl who returned my gloves.

\- And?

\- And we should get out of this traffic, maybe.

When they arrived at Mari’s house suddenly Noora felt terrfied. She grabbed onto Sana’s arms.

\- Please come in with me. I promise I’ll tell you everything about gloves-girl.

\- However exciting that sounds I can’t. If I see him again I won’t be able to control myself and that asshole will go home with a bloody nose.

Eventhough Noora knew Sana couldn’t hurt anyone, not even him, she decided to leave it alone. Maybe it was good for her to take these challenges by herself. So she hugged Sana tight and rang the bell to Mari’s flat. She was feeling more and more sick as she was walking up the stares but she kept going. The first person she saw was him. He was grinning into her direction and when he realized Noora wasn’t gonna move, he walked up to her. 

\- You came!

\- Not for you. – Noora smiled at him but it was just teeth.

\- Oh come on Noora! Don’t make a scene. It’s our song, come on dance with me. – It was only then that Noora realized that someone put on _More Than Words_ by Extreme. She used to love that song. Not anymore.

But as she looked around she realized there was no way out of this she really couldn’t make a scene and to top it all everyone was stealing looks in their direction. He had really planned this out. Noora hated him with every fibre of her body.

He grabbed her waist and she was so close to crying. She promised herself she’d never let him touch her again and here they were again and again and again. Sometimes she felt like there was no point in trying to get away. It wasn’t possible.

\- I saw you arriving with Sana – so apparently now he was creep-watching her every step from a window or something. Great. – Are you guys together again or something? – there was pure disgust on his face and at that moment Noora truly wished Sana would’ve come in and kept her promise.

\- Not that it’s any of your buisness but Sana and I were over long before you and I were.

Noora felt like they’ve been dancing for a million years and the song was never gonna end but it did and she tore herself away from him and ran through the crowd tot he nearest window. She needed air.

Why did he have this effect on her still? Why couldn’t she be finally free?

Noora couldn’t shake the suffocating smell of him off herself she wanted to have another skin, one that was never touched by him. She wanted to be someone different or nobody at all. She just wanted to…

\- Noora? – a young woman with long blonde hair was appearing on the horizon and as soon as her vision cleared Noora recognized Mari. She just threw herself onto her hugging her, telling her how much she missed her, inhaling her scent that didn’t make her terrified that calmed her down. Mari was one of her oldest friends and she hated that she became associated with him. She hated it.

They talked for hours. There was so much to catch up on and Mari seemed to be really happy to see her. They just stayed there til the party was over. When Noora realized how much the time was she excused herself put on her coat and was about to leave. Before she could’ve opened the door however, Mari grabbed her arm and in a private voice said:

\- If you’re gonna be alone at Christmas, come over. You’re always welcomed here.

Noora’s heart filled with love but then a memory or an idea, she couldn’t quite tell, appeared in the back of her head.

It was a hazy picture of blushing cheeks, ginger hair and green eyes looking into hers with curiosity and hope.

\- Thank you Mari, but I have a feeling I won’t be on my own this time.


End file.
